Note: Without the assistance of some very special people in my life, this site would not exist. These precious folks know who they are. They believe in me, they encourage me, and I love them! This site is therefore dedicated to them! God bless you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart. ~~ Sue
WELCOME!
Thank you for stopping by. I've never been known as a woman of "few words," so grab a cup/glass of something refreshing, and sit back as you read this introduction to my website!
On January 20, 2008, I celebrated my 69th birthday. It is amazing to me how the years seem to be going by faster and faster. In the blink of an eye I'm another year older! Although there is still an 18 year old inside screaming to get out most days, a glance in the mirror brings me a taste of reality.
Summer of 2006 I moved into a senior apartment complex. To say it was easy would be lying. It was one of the most painful things I've experienced, but to quote an old cliche, "no pain, no gain," and I kept pressing forward. I'd like to think I did my best with the adjustment phase of being (almost) alone. I had a precious little guy in my life: Andy, an 8-year-old Shih Tzu, who got me up and outside at least three times a day ... and gave me unconditional love. Looking back, I know God placed that little guy in my life for a reason.
I had read somewhere that it was important to become comfortable living alone before you could move on. I never dreamed when my marriage ended fourteen years ago that this was possible, but I do now believe it is true. For the most part, I believe I learned to be fairly comfortable in my own skin -- and alone. Oh, sure ... there were times when I would have enjoyed loving arms around me, someone with whom I could share the days -- and nights. Life alone can be joyous, but life, shared, can be glorious! I clung to the belief that one day love would come knocking at my door once again.
In the late fall of 2007, I had to send Andy heavenward. In my heart of hearts I believe that his demise was a direct result of the tainted dog food "epidemic" earlier that year. He was very ill at that time and never fully recovered. For those who have experienced making the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep, I don't have to explain the pain. For you others, I can only pray you never have to experience it. On September 4th, little Andy took his final breaths in my arms as I said over and over again, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I wanted the last words he heard to be mine proclaiming my love for all the years of unconditional love he gave to me.
Andy's death left me completely alone, and frankly, without purpose. And then that very thing I had not given up believing in happened. A love came into my life. I had an opportunity to travel, and without Andy to keep me home, I grabbed it, and have been experiencing a life that I never dreamed possible. I feel once again as though I have a purpose. And I feel loved. What the future holds, I do not know. But I feel God has His hand on me/us at this time, and I am going ahead with confidence that whatever happens will be His will for my life.
As a "Golden Ager," I see and hear things in a different way, now. Although I haven't lost my sense of humor or my need for some playfulness and fun, I've become more serious about life in general. I'm less apt to enjoy superfluous things and superficial conversations. I love to be intellectually challenged. I am more aware that there are two sides to everything, and take my time listening to them both. I try to listen more ... and seem to be able to see below the surface of things. I especially look at hearts -- hearts tell all. I try not to judge, but rather to put myself in others' shoes and think how I would like to be treated. I realize that I am now feeling things more with my heart than ever before. And of course I'm much more aware of my mortality, and the brevity of life. One thing I'm keenly aware of is that there is no more time for grudges or misunderstandings ... or selfishness. And forgiveness is a daily necessity: forgiveness of others ... as well as the need to forgive myself.
When I was young, I felt I needed to prove to others I knew everything. Today I am comfortable admitting I know very little. I seem to feel more of an urgency as I realize I can't keep putting things off that I want to see or learn or do. By the same token, I continue to "clean house" -- giving up some of the dreams I had that in reality are impossible to attain at this age. I am trying to focus on the ones that ARE attainable. With age I've acquired wisdom, of course, but sadly, as so many others my age have discovered, it seems that few people are willing to listen to an old woman's wisdom.
Author Rick Warren writes about a purpose-driven life. One thing he says is that we should focus less on our problems, and instead focus on our PURPOSE. I had one of those "light bulb moments" when I read that. And so that is my current goal: to focus on my purpose for being here.
Another "aha" moment recently came when I began realizing that what "energy" I give out comes back to me. If I am grumbling and discouraged, that's what I send out ... and it in turn comes back to me via grumbling and discouraged people and events. On the other hand, if I focus on sending out positive thoughts and words, then that's what returns to me. It's a modern take on "The Power of Positive Thinking," I believe. Some people call it the "Law of Attraction," or "The Secret." There is merit in this belief, and I find myself attracted to people who think as I do. In other words, "like attracts like."
I've certainly made mistakes over the years, but I've also learned that it's okay to be wrong. I believe that what we perceive as mistakes are merely opportunities to learn.
I read once that each relationship that doesn't work out simply brings a person closer to the one that will. I can attest to this. I know that I am worthy of love and I'm special in God's eyes. I've learned that the real joy in life comes from giving to others -- even if it's only a smile, a hug, a note of encouragement. To give to and love others unconditionally, in reality, is the best gift any of us can give to ourselves. It is in the giving ... that we receive.
I still hope to author a book one day, but meanwhile, when I am inspired, I will continue to write poetry ... and when I'm further inspired, I will make a webpage for the poetry -- to share. My poetry is really an expression of my heart, and if by chance someone is touched by it ... then I am the one who is truly blessed!
Click on the mouse below to access links to many of the pages I have created. Some include my original poetry and/or digital photography, but you will also find pages that I've had the privilege of creating for others using their original poetry and graphics. I'm currently in the process of updating pages so forgive any links that aren't working, or pages that aren't aesthetically pleasing. I'm working at changing many things.
Above is an embedded media player. The background music currently playing will "play over" the music on any of the pages you wish to view, so it's best to pause the music when you are ready to explore them. Just click on stop/pause button.
